Bad Mom morning -- well, early afternoon. Sarah was struggling with some homeschooling stuff, I got impatient, she got even more frustrated and tense and afraid of doing it wrong, we butted heads, she felt awful, I felt awful, the whole thing just sucked.

But I called a break so we could both get ready to go out (we were meeting Joe for dinner in Hoboken), and after a few minutes I asked if she wanted to talk about how she was feeling. She did, and she was so brave and so clear and well-spoken about what she was feeling, and I managed to stop being an impatient taskmistress long enough, and also managed to stop kicking myself for making her feel so bad long enough, and somehow managed to say enough of the right things to make it better. And then we rushed out into the cold to meet Joe and have a really nice, cozy, family evening out.

I hate that she takes it so hard when I get impatient or grouchy, but I'm so damn impressed with both of us, that we were able to stop in the middle of the conflict and fix it, and figure out what we can do differently next time.

The rest of our New Year stuff is going well -- I'm back on track for exercising and eating reasonably well (with the exception of last night's belated holiday visit with my grandparents -- I think I ate half of grandma's special potato salad myself!), we're making slow but steady progress on our ToDo lists, and on the family/household lifestyle changes we've been wanting to make, and my music's coming along nicely. I'm still dealing with some existential angst, and some frustration over how very domestic I've been feeling, though. I wish I was feeling more adventurous and bold and interesting than I am, right now, but when it comes down to it, I'm just... not. Instead I seem to want to spend my time crocheting and baking and decluttering and playing music and curling up under blankets with my dear ones. Maybe more of a sense of adventure will come with the Spring.