Stuff

Caramelized onion soup. Mmm... *sigh* Other things I've tried, the last several weeks: cauliflower soup (reliable and much loved companion that it is), broccoli and garlic soup, moroccan chickpea soup, brownie soup (I thought I'd try it heated but wound up sticking with cold, so it's like a really thick chocolate milk -- very satisfying), roasted sweet potato soup, mashed potato soup, portabella mushroom soup, roasted pepper soup. All good, some more satisfying than others. Overall, though, I'm struggling to remain patient with this process. I'm actually pretty blue about it all, at the moment. I crave a crisp salad sandwich (lettuce, chickpeas, avocado, tomato, cucumbers, olives, drizzled with dressing and stuffed into a roll) or sloppy lentils (again on a roll) with a bright new pickle on the side...

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We've transitioned pretty well into our summer routines, so today I started adding my contemplative practices -- slotting them into pre-existing spaces in our daily rhythms. I'm nowhere near perfect at sticking to my intended routine, but even the little bit I managed today made for much more clarity and peacefulness. It sprinkles my day with breathwork and chi kung exercises in the morning, contemplative prayer later on, lovingkindness meditation during our afternoon Quiet Time, chanting in the kitchen, mindfulness practice tucked in with the most repetitive housework...

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Yesterday I made some snarky comment while we were watching a food network show. Some showbiz person was judging the Shrek cakes, and I found his criticisms insufferable -- snippy, irrelevant, whiny, and generally what I would expect from a self-involved primadonna. I commented that actors shouldn't be allowed to talk. Sarah asked why, and I made additional snarky comments about the guy's emotional maturity/sophistication (or lack thereof) and questioned his ability to think with any degree of nuance.

Today in the car on the way home from getting ice cream (there's a lovely place in Montclair that makes their own, a couple dozen unusual flavors, and we'd grabbed Joe as soon as he walked in the door to take him with us for a belated Afternoon Adventure), out of the blue Sarah said something to the effect of "Mommy, it bothered me when you said that actors shouldn't talk, yesterday, because I plan to be an actor when I grow up." I hope I responded as well as I should have at being called on my snarkiness, but I know I at least managed to say that I'd be more careful in the future, and that absolutely, actors are just as smart and thoughtful as anyone else, and just like anyone else I shouldn't judge them all based on the silly comments of one person. Mostly, though, I was having trouble thinking beyond, "Oh my God! Good for you, Sarah!" I'm... I'm feeling really pretty good that she felt comfortable saying something. Really very good. I said as much, later tonight -- told her that that was exactly the right thing to do if someone says something that makes you uncomfortable -- to speak up clearly and calmly, as soon as you've had a chance to figure out what you want to say (even if some time has passed since the original comment). I could never have done the same thing, at her age. I'm not sure I could do the same thing *now*, if I needed to say it to one of my parents. I'm really very proud of her.