Monday, March 24, 2014


Okay. Reflux is on an uptick, Anxiety is on an uptick. I've known I needed to slow down and simplify, a bit, and I made a start but I didn't stick with it. Or maybe I didn't take it far enough. I'm not sure.

There are a few things that are stressing me out that are beyond my control. The cold (I *hate* the cold. It gets into my bones, and makes it impossible to relax), some worry about different people in my life... But there are a lot of things I can control. I can make little changes, or big changes, or remove myself from situations, or I can use CBT and visualization to change my response to the situation.

I can also increase my resiliency by increasing the incidences of things that make me really happy, or that help me cope with stress.

For 2 weeks I'm on an extremely gentle eating plan, as part of the healing from reflux. I'm feeling grouchy about that. Things like a cup of tea or a square of dark chocolate or a bottle of hard cider or black beans and rice smothered in avocado and tomato or bread&butter&pickles are so much a part of my self-comfort. And those are all either off-limits or seriously redesigned, for the next two weeks (no onions, tomatoes, limited fats like butter or avocado, limited wheat).

Today I ate steel cut oats with honey, black beans and rice (with a tiny bit of onion, because I reheated some of yesterday's black bean dish and added a bunch of plain black beans to it), and some oat bran muffins (homemade -- they've got apples in them, which I'm supposed to avoid for these 2 weeks, but I was too tired to cook and they were the most on-plan food I had in the house).

I also did my breathwork, morning chanting, ate lunch out in the car (instead of in the midst of the busy school), and a little mindfulness meditation tonight. Watched TV and screwed around on FB as a way of "relaxing".

Spent a chunk of the afternoon doing admin work instead of being in school (by previous arrangement with coworkers). Had significant reflux symptoms during staff meeting after work. (those things are unrelated, IMO -- more admin work tends to mean lower stress, for me)

I can see many things I could be doing differently, but I'm resisting making a list. I'm just being present and mindful.

Reflux: on a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is can't-eat-solid-food, I'd say I'm at a 7
Anxiety: 7/10