The last time I wrote here was 4 years ago. Jeez Louise. Since then, kiddo has finished up homeschooling high school and moved on to taking college classes, 45 has been elected, impeached, and lost his bid for re-election, we're 8+ months into a global pandemic, I am embracing the transition into cronedom.
We're getting ready to shift into another stay at home order as the numbers surge. We're working on getting the basement set up as an apartment for kiddo, I'm working on cultivating a couple havens for myself (my backyard fortress and my upstairs room), I'm looking for remote work. I'm dreaming of a van (Ford Transit Passenger Van, baby!) so I have the freedom to travel wherever and whenever I like, knowing I have everything I need with me. I'm closing up my outdoor garden for the winter and opening up possibilities for some indoor growing.
Our extended family responsibilities and caretaking are growing, but I don't yet know how much I want to write about that here. But I at least want to acknowledge that that's a huge chunk of what's going on with me.
I don't know what I'm going to do with this blog. I suppose we'll find out.
What I wrote to some friends, earlier this week: "For the second or third night in a row I've had this strange, hard-to-put-my-finger-on feeling. Sometimes it's a quiet, subtle lightness, sometimes it's almost a giddiness. I don't know if it's contentment, happiness, freedom, self-sufficiency... What a sweet, intoxicating feeling it is, whatever it is. It feels like cool summer rain."
I am happy. I still cry most days. I miss Grandma, and missing her so acutely reminds me of how much I still miss Grandpa. One of the reasons I decided to leave the school was so I could spend more time with her (among others). I wish we'd been given that chance.
But I get up in the morning and ease into my day. I appreciate my cup of tea, and the sunlight coming in my window, and the cozy blanket on my futon, and the possibilities of the day before me. I spend some time on paperwork and other home-administrative tasks, and some time on decluttering (I've checked the first three decluttering projects off my list already, within a week of wrapping up my time with SMC), and a couple times a week we see friends, both mine and Sarah's. I restarted a batch of sourdough. Tonight we devoured my first experiment with excess-starter-baking (whenever you feed sourdough you have to discard a bunch of it. There are recipes especially for using up the excess starter, so you don't have to just toss it). It turned out nicely. A subtle sourdough flavor, that we could easily tweak in a savory or sweet direction.
Sarah and I have started up our weekly homeschool check-ins again. How different they are from when we were last doing them regularly, 3 or so years ago. Back then her learning was self-directed but I was very much her education consultant -- she would tell me what her intentions/goals/priorities were, I would collect resources and suggest a plan, she would give feedback on the plan, and we'd tweak it until it seemed like something that would work for both of us (with the emphasis on whether it worked for her, but my thoughts still a big part of the conversation and decision). At this point she's transitioning to managing her own high school experience entirely. I asked for the weekly check-in, and I suggested the form of it (reflect on last week, review our self-selected priorities and projects, set intentions for the week). We're coming to the meeting as peers -- she has her priorities and projects, and I have mine. I'm continuing to actively model the skills I want her to develop and the questions I think she should be asking, but the actual prioritizing, choosing resources, and setting pace and direction... That's all up to her. For the summer, her priorities are relaxing, seeing friends, working on her comic-creation, and catching up on Duolingo (because they've started sending her sad owls when she doesn't keep up with her Norwegian lessons). My priorities are settling in to our new/old routines, self-care, making music, and starting my self-ed habit up again.
I woke up this morning feeling as if summer had started.
Not that far off -- my personal summer season begins immediately after kiddo's birthday, which will be in less than a week. And we'll be getting a taste of summer today, bringing a picnic in to Queens to visit with a few dear relatives and enjoy the extended sunlight of these late-Spring days.
Today would have been my grandparents' 70th anniversary. I've been thinking a lot about their 50th, which happened just a year or so after Joe and I got married. We loaned them our cake topper as part of the decorations. The granddaughters all dressed up in Andrews Sisters-inspired outfits and sang a handful of our grandparents' favorite songs, then led the family in a singalong. For Grandpa's 100th we skipped the performance but did lead a singalong in the backyard. I think, often, of that day, and how much joy was in that yard, and how many folks there hadn't seen each other in years.
I think about finding more opportunities for joyful gatherings.
I'm thinking, also, of how I spent the summer the last time I had recently separated from a school. The intensity of my solo roadtrip to Montana. The rawness and fragility of my body and spirit, from how hard I'd pushed myself, trying to keep that school open, and feeling such a sense of deep personal failure at not having been able to.
How much better and more satisfying this experience has been. How much healthier my boundaries and self-care have been, this time around. What a strong team we built. How proud I am of my work at SMC, even as I'm conscious of things I could have done better, wish I'd done differently.
It's two weeks to the end of the school year. Bittersweet, bittersweet. I've been working on letting go in bits and pieces -- supporting the staff and the students, but letting my own opinions about things drift into the background a bit. It doesn't matter what I think about the calendar, I'm not the one who's going to need to deal with it. I'm glad I'm the one designing the closing ceremony for the school year -- the ceremony itself will offer an opportunity for reflection and closure, but the act of *designing* that ceremony is deeply meaningful to me.
I haven't been writing as much here as I'd expected to, about all the prep I'm doing for my post-school life. The preparations are continuing apace, but things got busy, and then got sad, and I haven't felt much like writing.
But I've been working away -- helping kiddo make progress on her room, getting a bunch of totally unglamorous but absolutely necessary paperwork done, starting to find new way to connect with people (including slowly starting up a letter-writing practice), beginning to organize our home lives the way I have organized my work life, overhauling the budget (which allowed us to pay off the car loan early, and we're now deciding which other loan to start paying off faster, using the money that freed up).
For the next month we're mostly just planning to maintain the progress we've made, while we wrap up the school year and celebrate kiddo's 15th birthday. And then, to sink into the work of the summer. I'm so ready to sink my teeth into the domestic sphere again and just conquer the hell out of it.
Thursday, April 21, 2016
I like making plans. Planning my new routines, planning my garden, planning holiday meals, planning all the things I want to learn next year.
The people in my life can sometimes find this... overwhelming.
When we realized that we were going to be shifting back to full-time homeschooling next year, I started bubbling over with extremely enthusiastic questions about what books/activities/field trips/videos she might be interested in exploring next year. I very quickly realized I was going to have to keep a very tight rein on myself or I'd wind up seriously stressing Kiddo out. Every time I wanted to make a new suggestion or ask a new question about next year, I'd write it down in my notebook, or email it to myself, or search for info online and bookmark it. I asked the occasional question when possibilities popped up that she'd need to register for now, but after a few of those I let her know that I was doing my best not to overwhelm her with questions and asked her to let me know when she was ready to talk about next year.
It has been so hard. I have been *so* good. And today I was rewarded!
She bounded into the room, this afternoon, to tell me that she'd been reading one of her books on comic-creation and is feeling really excited about next year and is full of ideas about wanting to immerse herself in comic-creation, US politics, economics, Norwegian, and math (later on she added mythology and literature to the list). I asked how I can best support her and she said she'll be looking for suggestions for great books on those subjects, and help not overscheduling herself. Which means... we get to start making plans!
Even while aspects of perimenopause are extremely challenging, there are also so many things going well.
My new yoga routine is awesome. The new evening routines are *phenomenal*. We're making such great progress with our home repair projects. Our RPG this weekend kicked ass (I killed something like 5 magic spiders and got a chance to explore who my character is during her off-hours. It was such fun!). I'm sticking to my healthy breakfast and dinner plans easily (lunch is hit or miss, depending on how well I stocked the fridge over the weekend). My usual "Learning in a Student-Led Setting" spiel at this week's Open House went really well. I'm behind on email a ridiculous amount, oh my God, but I should be able to catch up in the next few days, now that school's over for the week.
I'm also really appreciating certain aspects of my current stage of life. I'm halfway through a root canal and haven't been thrilled with this dentist's manner and judgement (my usual guy doesn't do root canals and this is the first time I've tried this new person) but thought I could deal with it to at least get finished with this one process. Nope. I went back today for the second half, and she was patronizing, defensive, dismissive of my concerns and was doing her best to run roughshod over my clearly stated treatment decisions. So I walked out. That is something I would never have been able to do in my 20s. Go, 44 year old me! Of course, now I need to spend some time tomorrow finding a new root canal person so I can finish this damn procedure.
Next week is Spring Break, and I have very few plans so I'm making plans with myself to sink deeply into relaxation and not to add anything else to my schedule (except possibly a root canal appointment). I took a week or so off FB (except for doing work publicity stuff there) and then found that if I made some careful choices about how and when I use it, I can visit occasionally in a way that doesn't make me nuts. But I think limiting my online time as much as possible during Spring Break is feeling like the right choice.
Is it possible to take a retreat from other people's opinions entirely? I find myself responding, recently, to any opinions expressed in absolutes or generalizations or in any way expressed as if they were objectively True (as opposed to "What I liked about X was..." or "I find myself drawn to the candidate because of their position on Y") with an immediate, visceral "Who the hell asked you? Keep it to yourself, you old gasbag!" I've never been a fan of the conversational style in which people make grand, sweeping statements or smirking, overconfident pronouncements or folks who express unsolicited opinions instead of asking illuminating questions, but this is a whole new level of complete and utter lack of patience with it. I wish I could lure everyone I know (back) over to the slower-paced world of blogging (not that the world of blogging is free of gasbaggery, but it seems to have a lower percentage of it). [note: this is not a reference to any individual -- it's the internet as a whole, right now]
In other news, my life overhaul is proceeding apace. I've been tracking it with various paper journals and photos. Perhaps this weekend I'll put them together into a post here.
Short form: Got the house back to baseline; morning routines are going well, evening routines have been overhauled and the new ones are *excellent*; got in 2 of the needed medical visits (they're all general checkup things, other than 2 root canals); anxiety and other perimenopausal stuff continue to be a struggle to deal with; seedlings are thriving and it's time to get them in the ground; stumbled on my plan not to volunteer for any more tasks at work (volunteered to work on the hiring committee because it felt like an important part of responsibly wrapping up my time at the school) but I think I can limit that job to about 15 hours of work, which is acceptable; this weekend I expect to wrap up processing the pile of paperwork so I can flip it from "in progress" to "maintenance". I want to make more time to see friends and finish up the kitchen and paperwork stuff so that I can get to the next layer of tasks.
Reading: Neuroscience articles. It's obnoxiously difficult to find articles on our best guesses about consciousness or cognition that are at an appropriate reading level for the kids in my class and that also make their case at all persuasively.
Listening to: Two of the songs we've been singing in Glee Club:
Watching:
Loads and loads of Top Chef. It's been the background noise to our evening reading and gaming, recently. Hail, Caesar, which was a whole lot of fun.
Doing:
Planning for next year -- both at school and at home. Visiting my parents in the North Country, going to the Schenectady Science Museum and playing Scrabble. Starting nearly from scratch with getting back into all my good habits.
Eating/Cooking:
Geez. Absolutely nothing interesting. We went to a pretty nice Thai restaurant in Schenectady. At home we've been eating whatever was easiest to make -- lots of pasta and salad.
Something that went particularly well, recently:
Last week we had a visit from an elder in the free school community. My classes have been going well. We had friends over to make music. I had a lovely visit with A. And a wonderful visit with Grandma.
Something that went less well:
The house is a wreck. I can't seem to get myself back on track with stocking the fridge. Some symptoms of depression and anxiety that I'm tracking, to see if they're an anomaly or the start of a trend I need to reverse. A bit of a stomach bug, this week.
Something I'm grateful for:
Confirmation of my continued good health (went for a stress test onaccounta some annoying symptoms -- everything looks good).
Something I'm thinking about:
A variety of ways to simplify my life.
Something I'm looking forward to:
Feeling better. I'm tired of feeling queasy.
A few weeks ago I let my colleagues know that I won't be returning to the school next year as a staff member. I've known since August that this was the right choice for me and my family, but it's... To call it bittersweet doesn't do it justice. The last three years have been among the most intense and most meaningful experiences of my life. I love my colleagues like family, love the school, love the kids, love the entire community. But after devoting the majority of my time and energy, these last few years, to the work of building and sustaining the school, I'm feeling the need to spend some time focusing those same resources on my family.
One of the sweetest bits of the bittersweetness is the anticipation of finally getting to all the projects that've been shunted to my Someday/Eventually list, over the course of these last years. I've been whiling away some of these dreary winter afternoons by dreaming of what the warmer weather will bring.
I use a combination of GTD organizational approaches and Flylady's habit-building when it comes to my work life. I've been enjoying -- to a truly ridiculous extent -- turning that approach to the rest of my life (I've done it to some extent for years, but this is a more focused effort).
Here you can see my GTD-inspired collection of priorities and associated projects:
And here you can see the space where, over the next months, I'm going to be spiraling out into a really solid foundation for our home life and my own life out in the world. Starting tonight, of course, with a Shiny Sink!
And here, of course, are all the literal seeds I'll be planting this Spring:
I haven't done the Friday Five in years, but I never did take it off my feed, and this week's questions spoke to me, so here we are. :)
1. What makes it easy to talk to someone? Someone who asks questions, listens without interrupting, and speaks... I don't know if there's a term for this, but I enjoy talking with people who say things like "I've noticed, among my friends" or "I tend toward thinking that X, although of course that could be because Y" instead of speaking in absolutes, generalizations, or as if their opinions are objectively true. I like speaking with people who are receptive to new ideas, new experiences, and who are curious about the experiences of the people around them. People who are more interested in a mutual exploration of ideas than a debate.
2. What percent of the day do you spend talking? On work days, I talk a lot. On home days, while we enjoy talking to each other, we enjoy being quiet together just as much, and without the need to answer lots of questions or lead any classes I find myself talking quite a bit less than on work days.
3. Who, in your opinion communicates better: men or women? When I was a teen I thought that men communicated better because my experience was that boys said exactly what they were thinking and were very laidback about etiquette while girls had all sorts of unspoken social expectations and were more demanding about etiquette (etiquette I was often unaware of until I'd run afoul of it). As an adult I find that I mostly prefer talking with women, because my experience is that they listen better, ask more insightful questions, and are less likely to jump in with their unsolicited opinions and less likely to assume that they're right or that they're more informed than the people around them. But both of those things are really about how people have been socialized, and are generalizations. One of my few conservative friends, someone I like and respect, is a guy who genuinely listens to the other side and who disagrees by asking questions more than by making broad, inflammatory statements. Some of my female friends are very good at saying exactly what they mean and letting me know upfront what their expectations are. So it really depends.
4. What topics do you avoid when talking to a stranger? For the most part I only talk to strangers about light stuff -- how long the line is taking, how the hors d'oevres are, how they know the bride and groom. I'm not interested in other people's opinions on my life or decisions and in my experience way too many people think that being vegetarian or a homeschooler or any number of other things about me give them the right to poke their noses into my business. I can tell them to mind their own business if I need to, but I'd rather just keep them at arm's length and limit our conversation to inconsequentials. That said, if the stranger in question turns out to be a conversationalist along the lines of what I described in question 1, I'm happy to discuss anything and everything with them, regardless of how short a time we've known each other.
5. Do you like to eavesdrop on other people's conversations? Not especially. There's a guy at the library who has a deep, resonant voice and who obviously loves being the center of attention. He likes to sit and talk with his friends, very loudly, in the cafe area, about various musicians and artists and historical figures. It's really unpleasant. I want to say to him, hasn't anyone ever told you that it's unforgivably rude to dominate the space like that? I started carrying headphones to the library because of him -- so that I have the option of tuning him out at least a little. I don't want to know about his opinions on anything, I don't want to know about those two old ladies' health problems and their friends' health problems, I don't want to know about the teenagers' dating woes, I don't want to know about that other old guy's political opinions. I want to sit and drink my tea, read my book, and maybe talk quietly with a companion.
Reading: _What You Should Know About Politics... But Don't_. I started looking into it for class (I'm teaching a polisci class this session) and while it's not what I needed for class, it seems like it's a good general intro for someone like me -- I tend to know quite a bit about a couple pet causes, and very little about the rest of what's going on. I've really just started it, so I don't have much of a review yet, but so far I'm pleased. For the info I'm already familiar with it seems painfully basic and simplified, but that's apparently just what I need for the topics I'm not already familiar with.
Listening to:
Watching: We've been renting from Amazon, recently. The Man from UNCLE movie, which was a lot of fun, although it would have been disappointing, I think, if I'd been invested in it faithfully recreating the TV series. The Librarians second season, which was also a lot of fun, although not as good as the first season (in my opinion it's because Noah Wyle's Librarian is a delightfully annoying character when he shows up for 15 minutes twice a season. The moment the actor lost his old show and started showing up more often, I was done with him. He's the executive producer, unfortunately, so I doubt they're going to send him off into the abyss any time soon. More's the pity.). And... Oh, the most recent Mission Impossible movie, which was not much fun at all. We watch Ghost Protocol pretty often because it's silly and fun to watch. I really wasn't looking for great cinema, here. But the most recent one isn't silly, isn't fun to watch, hardly uses the team members who made the other ones (I've only seen the 1st and 4th) entertaining, and wasn't worth the money or the time we spent on it.
Doing: We finally managed to have folks over for the monthly singalong, after waving them off the last two months because of health stuff. The RPG was really good, this month (there's something for everyone in this adventure, which isn't always the case -- in some of our adventures we've had one session in which a character has loads to do, and then the next month there's just nothing for them because of the way the scenes flow (whether they take longer than expected or other characters do unexpected things or just because of how the dice roll), and there are so many interesting little fiddly bits for us to explore and investigate). I managed to get together with a group of old friends I see *way* too rarely these days.
Also started seeing my TCM dude again, and making some much-needed changes to my routine, to better support my health.
Eating/Cooking: I started eating steel cut oats and stewed apples in the morning again, and I'm really enjoying it (I'd stopped because I was bored out of my mind with it, but apparently taking a break for a couple years was just what I needed). Tonight I'm experimenting with a noodle-and-canellini-bean dish we made a couple days ago, turning the leftovers into a garlicky soup.
Something that went particularly well, this week: Seeing friends. Taking control of my health. Doing a really good job of maintaining work boundaries.
Something that went less well: Anxiety through the roof. Hence the visit to TCM dude, and the changes in routines.
Something I'm grateful for: The stubbornness I inherited from a variety of family members and further cultivated on my own.
Something I'm thinking about: The next 20 years. I know I'd said a few times in the last year or two that I feel as if I'm shifting from the rhythms of the last 20 years to the rhythms for the next 20 years, but I actually think I've been in more of a bardo, knowing that new rhythms were needed but not yet knowing what they would be, and maybe not yet being ready to step into them. I'm ready now.
Something I'm looking forward to: Various upcoming chances to see friends. How I'll be feeling a month from now, once I've stuck to these new routines for a month.
Reading: The Wood Wife, book two in my Christmas readathon. Another old favorite, to reconnect with my love of reading.
Listening to:
After a reference to Josquin in Ex Libris, I looked him up, and am enchanted.
Watching:
The Kim Possible DVDs one of us got for Christmas. Winter Soldier.
Doing:
Earlier this week we drove into Queens for our Christmas visit with my Grandma. In a lovely bit of synchronicity, the rest of my family also chose that day for their Christmas visit, so I got the chance to really relax and visit with everyone in a way I couldn't when I was busy hosting on Christmas Eve. It was so indescribably good to see them all. Other than that we're mostly reading, decluttering, and watching movies. No board games so far this week. We must fix that.
Eating/Cooking:
For Christmas we did mostly finger foods -- we made a very lemony hummus and herby focaccia -- and scones and apple spice cake.
Something that went particularly well, this week:
Our routines were cozy and we stuck to them at least moderately well. Sitting together and reading in the morning was... really good.
Something that went less well:
A bit of a stomach bug. A bit of anxiety. A bit of grief.
Something I'm grateful for:
My family. Having the freedom and the luxury to make the choices I'm making about shifting my focus to home and family.
Something I'm thinking about:
What kind of magic phone I should get.
Something I'm looking forward to:
June. Sunday, to have one more relaxing day at home before shifting into the school/work week. Monday, to start getting more deeply into my new work practices.
Reading:
Lots and lots of little bits of Polisci, trying to find a text for January's class.
Listening to:
Watching:
The Invisible Man videos Joe and Sarah got me for Solstice! I'd forgotten that the first episode was full of so many squelchy bits, so it wasn't quite Sarah's cup of tea, but we've all been enjoying the episodes since then. It's a lighthearted, snarky, buddy sorta show, and I'd forgotten how much I enjoy the dynamic between Fawkes and Hobbes. I'm also amused to see how much Fawkes reminds me of Fraction's Hawkeye.
Doing:
Being on Vacation! I powered through two anti-procrastination days and got everything but a couple errands (to the bank and post office) off my work GTD list. I'll be taking care of those two errands this afternoon, and I am not going to think about work again until Monday January 4th (with the exception of doing some reading to prep for classes, but the feeling of happily anticipating an upcoming class is very different from and much more pleasant that the feeling of "oh, geez, I really need to finish up X,Y,and Z paperwork before I can relax".
Eating/Cooking:
Sloppy lentils, lots of chopped salad, some slow-cooked apple spice cake. I put the cake in a different vessel from usual, because I couldn't find the usual one. Because of that the top baked really fast and the innards baked really slowly, leading to crunchiness on top and puddingyness further down, after baking it for nearly twice as long as usual. I'm also exploring new tea options, since my source for Irish Breakfast tea went out of business. She's been selling off her leftover stock, so I've had something to tide me over, but I'm not really thrilled with the last batch (the taste is only a little better than what I'd get from bagged tea and seems as if it's lost a lot of its subtler notes) and I suspect I'm only going to give it one more try before I decide to switch entirely to a new source. I've ordered a couple samplers from Adagio Teas. So far their Irish Breakfast tea is not as whimsical or nuanced as I'm looking for. A lot more like the straightforward punch-in-the-face flavor of English Breakfast, to me. I also ordered a sampler of fujian baroque, which I haven't yet tried -- it's described as having notes of cocoa, fruitiness and "glimmers of spice", so I'm hoping it may have the whimsy that I'm looking for.
Something that went particularly well, this week:
Powering through a whole lot of work in just two days. Go me! Also, our RPG group finally successfully contained the evil space cube we've been tracking for months!
Something that went less well:
I'm not quite 100% -- some combination of exhaustion, dehydration, congestion, reflux, anxiety, and sorrow -- and I'm growing seriously frustrated.
Something I'm grateful for:
My sweet kiddo, who surprised me the other day by cleaning the entire house while I was out having breakfast with friends. I came home expecting to need to spend a couple hours cleaning for the afternoon's RPG and instead walked in the door to an almost totally tidy house. She's such a sweetie, and I'm extremely grateful.
Something I'm thinking about:
Something totally superficial -- I noticed when I was out with friends that they were all dressed in classic examples of their own styles, and I was dressed in a grubby old coat that had been Joe's for years until it stopped coming clean in the wash (and then I started wearing it when my old coat gave out and I couldn't be bothered to go shopping for a new one), a tshirt that I wear when all the stuff I love is in the wash (one of those "it's clean, it fits, and it's civilized (read: doesn't have any rude or snarky sayings printed on it)" shirts), and a pair of jeans that have seen better days. I have no real style of my own right now, for a variety of reasons, and it's starting to affect my outlook and the way I carry myself. So I've decided to challenge myself -- as soon as I rack up 100 hours of exercise and ruthlessly clear out my closets, I will take myself on a truly indulgent shopping spree to refill those closets with a (modest) wardrobe I genuinely love. I can buy a handful of pieces before that if I genuinely need them, but the big wardrobe overhaul won't happen until mid-Spring, going by my exercise schedule when I'm on track (which I haven't been since Summer, hence the challenge).
Something I'm looking forward to:
Christmas Eve with my family. It won't be quite like the old days, but almost everyone I was hoping to see will be able to make it, and just the thought of it warms and cheers me.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
What I'm up to:
Reading: I have no idea if this is insane or part of a radical (for me) retreat, but I gathered up about a dozen books, this afternoon, that I'd would really love to finish before the end of the year. They're all pretty short, and I have a lot of free time between now and January 1st, so it's certainly doable as long as I keep remembering that my intention is to spend most of the next 3 weeks reading. The first book is Ex Libris (yet again) because I didn't quite finish making it all the way through the essays, last time, and if I don't finish it I don't feel right including it on my list of books read that year.
Listening to:
Watching:
This silly thing:
Doing: Getting ready for the end of the year. Making a capture list for those work and home tasks that would be really lovely to be able to cross off before January gets here. Trying out different ways of keeping in touch with folks that don't involve FB.
Eating/Cooking: White bean stew over egg noodles. Biscuits and gravy with eggs.
Something that went particularly well, this week: I have a collaborative craft project that I feel quite sentimental about, and I'm especially enjoying playing with that this week. I'm also appreciating the way weaving layer upon layer of that project has helped me to see how I might weave layer upon layer of peace upon and throughout my life. Has helped me see how I might begin to experience the layering of Peace as delightful and gratifying, instead of falling into experiencing it as drudgery or deprivation.
Something that went less well: Bits of the week were rough. We wound up needing to cancel a bunch of plans, this weekend, because various members of the household were under the weather.
Something I'm grateful for: It's getting repetitive, I know, but I'm grateful for my little family and my safe little home.
Something I'm thinking about: Where to best put my volunteer/activist resources. What can we do to nudge the world back in the direction of compassion, lovingkindness, inclusivity, live-and-let-live?
Something I'm looking forward to:
Winter Break. My winter break readathon. Singing with friends on Friday, singing with my family at Christmas.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
The main thing I'm doing right now is getting off FB for awhile. The constant shrill headlines, no matter how I try to adjust and manage my newsfeed, are just too much. When I want to read news I go to news sites -- that's not what I'm looking for when I go somewhere wanting to be social with my friends.
For the moment I'm getting my online social needs met through a bunch of different sites -- goodreads for book reviews and discussions, sparkpeople for folks to check in with for fitness and health goals, mindbloom for GTD lists. Since I have no friends over at mindbloom at the moment, though, it's not quite what I'm looking for. I like being companionably chatty throughout the day, kvetching about my task list or celebrating when I've gotten something done. I tried shifting one of my main support networks off FB but I suspect it's not going to work out. I imagine something will emerge to meet that need for online chatty connection, or else I'll find/create another way to meet it, maybe offline.
Sunday, December 6, 2015
What I'm up to:
Reading: Still nothing much. A little fanfic. A little neuroscience, a little polisci. Mostly pausing -- happily anticipating sinking into lots of reading, this Winter. Contemplating my gorgeous piles of books to be read. (note on NaNoWriMo: I did not come close to finishing a novel. But in this last month I've written more of this story I've been carrying around in my heart than I had in the last several years.)
Listening to: I've been listening a *lot* of this:
In Glee Club I let the kids choose the songs we sing, and one of them really, really wants to sing this at our winter concert. So, since it's proving almost impossible to get the melody to stick in my head, I'm listening to this song over and over. And *over*.
Watching: Lots of Top Chef.
Doing: Shopping. We spent some anniversary money on a new storage structure for the kitchen, and filled in spaces in our winter wardrobes. Exchanging St. Nicholas Day stockings.
Eating/Cooking: Black Bean Meatball Subs. Vegetable Potpie (we ate a hell of a lot of it, last weekend, and it was really, really good).
Something that went particularly well, this week: Neuroscience class. A game of Werewolf.
Something that went less well: The reflux is through the roof, right now, as is the anxiety. I have a plan for fixing those things, but I need to figure out how to keep myself on track.
Something I'm grateful for: My little family. My safe little home.
Something I'm thinking about: A programming project I want to take on.
Something I'm looking forward to: Getting the kitchen thoroughly cleaned and reorganized.
Monday, November 16, 2015
What I'm up to: Reading: Nothing. I'm using all my reading time for writing, this month!
Listening to:
Watching: A bunch of Crash Course videos on neuroscience.
Doing: Celebrating Samhain. Getting back to working out after taking a couple weeks off onaccounta the cold.
Something that went particularly well, this week: Finally feeling better from the cold. Also, a gorgeous post-lunch walk, this afternoon.
Something that went less well: Wound up cancelling both my classes today -- the first one because 2/3 of my kids weren't in, today, and the second because we spent the first half of it outside onaccounta the fire alarm.
Something I'm grateful for: Family stories.
Something I'm thinking about: How I'm going to be spending my time, a year from now. I'm imagining a morning spent learning new skills, and an afternoon spent working on home repair and stocking the fridge. Maybe a walk together before dinner.
Something I'm looking forward to: Next weekend.
Monday, October 26, 2015
What I'm doing this week:
Reading: Still Ex Libris. It's lovely to dip into when I find a moment here and there.
Listening to:
Watching: Back to the Future.
Doing: Seeing friends for my birthday. Seeing family. Walking over the pedestrian walkway across the Hudson River. Turning 44.
Eating/Cooking: Roasted Cauliflower Soup.
Something that went particularly well, this week: My tutoring session (I'm tutoring a young man in college writing).
Something that went less well: I'm on something like my third cold this season. I'm really done with this nonsense.
Something I'm grateful for: The gorgeous sunny afternoon. My friends.
Something I'm thinking about: How to set myself up for a cozy, competent, healthy winter.
Something I'm looking forward to: Soup and bread for dinner. Watching LOTR with my little family.
Since I just nudged folks to visit, I took a look at my recent posts and realized I didn't crosspost as many posts as I'd thought I had. So, I'm taking one October post and one November post and bringing them over here.
What I'm doing this week (October 15):
Reading: Rereading _Ex Libris_ for the hundredth time. It's such a wonderful book for reminding myself how much I love reading.
Listening to:
Watching: Lots of old favorites -- "Twister", "Death in Paradise", the Xmen reboot.
Doing: Getting reading glasses. :) Settling in to the school year. My science kids chose neuroscience as their topic for this session, so immersing myself in neuroscience. Doing some writing-tutoring. Getting in some really solid workouts.
Eating/Cooking: Continuing to work on my cholesterol-lowering eating plan. Lots of beans, soups, steel cut oats.
Something that went particularly well, this week: I'm 90% caught up with my work. That's a really big deal.
Something that went less well: I did not rock neuroscience class, this week. I'll do better next week.
Something I'm grateful for: As always, my little family and my health.
Something I'm thinking about: Considering costumes. Imagining what next year will look like.
Something I'm looking forward to: An upcoming con. My birthday.
Reading:
Online comics -- Girls With Slingshots (which got onto my TBR list via a recommendation but so far it's got potential but hasn't really hooked me), and Sorcery 101 (which is pretty engaging so far, although his website is a pain in the ass to maneuver around) -- and staff development articles on building a supportive school culture and inquiry-based teaching.
Listening to:
Watching:
The new season of Miss Fisher (finally available on Netflix!)! Phryne's the tiniest bit OOC (out of character) in it -- they've got her chasing after Jack at one point, calling out excuses about her dalliance with an air force officer, which is just not at all believable. I can see the two of them struggling a bit with whether it's possible for them to find a way to actually be together, given their very different outlooks on life and on relationships, and I can see both of them making some compromises, but I can't see her chasing after him -- but it's still a lot of fun.
We're giving Merlin a try, as well. Quite enjoyable so far. A nice mix of adventure and humor.
Doing:
Having the first week of school -- the first day went remarkably well. I can see how much the kids have grown in their ability and willingness to be part of community activities, conflict resolution processes, and the school meeting's decision-making. Other than that, spending a lot of time in bed, recovering from this week's cold.
Eating/Cooking:
I'm needing to change my eating plan to help lower my cholesterol. I'm not too stressed about that -- I did it in my 20s, quite successfully, and then just got out of the habit of doing all the things that kept it in a good range. So I'm putting together a list of reminders, and getting them on the wall. Today we're having papardelle and cauliflower. Not a particularly cholesterol-lowering food, but tasty, and moderately healthy (healthier if we were making soy sauce lentils-and-onions to go with it, but we're not).
Something that went particularly well, this week:
I facilitated a difficult mediation at school, and was pleased with the results. My bloodtests were generally good, other than the cholesterol. I was particularly pleased by the glucose results -- that's something I keep an eye on, because of family history -- and my blood pressure is excellent, which always makes me happy to see.
Something that went less well:
There was some confusion around our Back to School picnic, which made our Friday a little tricky. We found out our favorite tea spot and haven is closing at the end of the month.
Something I'm grateful for:
The gorgeous days -- sunny, pleasantly warm/cool (hovering in the low 80s, for the most part), often breezy. My health. My little family.
Something I'm thinking about:
How I spend my time. What choices are worthwhile, given how brief our time here is.
Something I'm looking forward to:
The things I'm planning to facilitate this year -- glee club, science club, and an independent research and public speaking class. I'm a little excited, a little nervous, but mostly just feeling really settled and contemplative about those classes. They give me a lot to chew over, as I think about what I want to do with them.
How sad to say, I haven't read anything new since I last posted here. I was busy with work, then doing summer vacationy things. I've been reading articles online -- this article on GMOs, most recently -- but no books. It's Read A Book day, I'll have to fix that!
Listening to:
This guy, at the Scotch Plains Italian Festival. He's a lot of fun to watch, and has a nice variety of oldies and classics in his repertoire.
Watching:
RWBY (enjoyable animated show about a couple teams of teen monster hunters). I"m lobbying heavily for Barney Miller and Rockford Files, to no avail.
Doing:
Having summer vacation! Meeting Joe in Hoboken for lunch, walking along the Hudson River, going to Sandy Hook Beach with friends, going Back to School shopping, going to the Italian Festival with friends. Today we're sleeping in, having breakfast potatoes and scrambled eggs. Tomorrow we're choosing between Meadowlands Environment Center, Palisades Pkwy overlook, Rutherford Labor Day street fair, or heading back to Scotch Plains to catch the VooDudes.
Eating/Cooking:
Lots of breakfast potatoes. Raymond's has not been as good, recently -- their sourdough toast is a little sweet, which is really off-putting with home fries and eggs, the eggs themselves are a little overdone, and the homefries have been bland -- so we've been staying home more often, both for budgetary and culinary reasons. Our home-breakfasts tend to be breakfast potatoes (inspired by The Pioneer Woman's, although ours skip the cayenne pepper and the bell peppers) and scrambled eggs (inspired by these lazy eggs, although I do whisk them before sticking them in the pan, and I skip the milk). Occasionally with the extra indulgence of Gina's apple turnovers.
Something that went particularly well this week: Everything about summer vacation has been going well. One thing that stands out, though -- friends were in town and invited a bunch of folks to meet them at the Italian festival, so we got to see lots of people we don't see often enough (both the friends who were in for the visit, as well as the mutual friends who came to the festival to see them) and got to experience a classic summer church festival in the midst of our let's-fit-in-all-the-summer-we-can week.
Something that went less well:
Some of the Back to School shopping was frustrating. It's amazing how hard it can be to find clothes for a teen who just wants tshirts, plain jeans, comfy underthings, and kickass boots.
Something I'm grateful for:
Having enough to eat, and a sturdy home, and a network of friends and family.
Something I'm thinking about:
How to maintain good work boundaries, this school year. How I can best help the Syrian refugees (always so hard to know where money will do the most good, or what sorts of letters to write to representatives).
Something I'm looking forward to: The rain. (yes, I wrote this last month, too. Still, the rain. It's been a dry summer, here.)
I'm a homeschooling mom, an activist, a lifelong learner, an expatriate New Yorker, an amateur musician. I'm passionate about music, food (making it, eating it, and making sure it's safe, healthy, and plentiful for everyone), civil liberties, social justice, education reform, and books. My past lives have included stints in the fields of social work, tech support, and alternative education. My super secret goal is to be part of a band that's just good enough to play at local pubs and get paid in bottles of Original Sin hard cider. Well, that and to take over the world.
